I am a…
  • …30-something crooked mystic.
  • …a “box-checking” Christian.
  • …parent to 3 dogs.
  • …spouse to a wonderful partner & spiritual companion.
  • …winner of my elementary school “bookworm” award 3 years running (for reading the most books over the summer).
  • …winner of the “participant” ribbon in every race I ever ran.
  • …psychotherapist by day.
  • …young adult (20s-early 40s) church-based spiritual SEEKERS group leader by night.
  • …avid writer and reader and contemplative practitioner.
  • …part-time, impromptu foster parent to any stray dogs found within a 20 mile radius of my house (we are known for it).
  • …yoga practitioner and teacher, equine facilitated psychotherapy practitioner and horse lover.
  • …a big fan of my tattoos–I designed all of them (and that is where my artistic prowess ends).
  • …trauma & PTSD survivor; in recovery and loving living my life freely, post-trauma.

I am a Christian by choice and circumstance.  Let me explain.  

I think we all believe in what we believe (or don’t believe in what we don’t believe in) in because a combination of these two things.  We are born into or raised in our “faith of origin” or the belief system our parents adhered to (or didn’t adhere to).  Some people stay on that path out of intentional choice to do so or out of the comfort of the known.  Some explore other avenues out of discomfort with the known and a curiosity about the unknown.  Of those people that search outside of their “faith of origin” some find a faith path that seems to speak to them more– the language, the rituals, the systems–and others return to their original home-base faith and settle in.

I fall into the latter category, sort of.  I was Christian by circumstance, carried God with me as I explored other faith paths throughout my life, and found my home again in my “faith of origin” with a renewed sense of wonder, grace, and mystery.  Coming home again can have that sort of a feeling, it is both comfortable and refreshed by time and perspective.  This site is the exploration of my journey, the refreshing of my “faith of origin”, and my exploration of those things in Christianity that have made, and continue to make, people like myself wander.

Also, I have an interest in those essences of God and Jesus that make people gravitate to the beauty and love of their being–whether you are a lifelong Christian, a wanderer, someone returning to your roots, or someone of other faith traditions who see the beauty in this faith tradition called Christianity.

I say that as I wandered, God came with me and that is true.  I was always a Christian at heart but often not in dogma or culture.  I believe God guided me in and out of the crooked path of my life and back to the ever evolving space I exist in now.  When my life became gritty (as I discuss in the Living Gritty section), as life often does for so many of us, and it became both harder and more essential to believe in something, I sought God out wherever I could find it.  I have found God everywhere, around the globe and on the streets where I lived, in sanskrit chants, in buddhist temples, in the voice of a kind woman or a gentle man, and in the sounds of suffering in those I felt pulled to help.  Even when the word “Christian” made me cringe, for all that I had heard espoused under the roof of this title, I still believed what I believed, just in a roof-less kind of way.

Now, I am learning the joys that can come from sitting under a roof, especially when it rains.  I am learning the compromise of less-than-perfection (in communities, in churches, in people, in myself) that is necessary to live amongst others in faith and in life.  I am learning to call myself “Christian” without cringing or anticipating the cringes that it will bring in other persons who have been wounded by others under that title and name.

I am finding that the way to reverse the cringe-worthy nature of that word is to embody its opposite while calling myself the same.  I have always been a firm believer in St. Francis’s exposition of,  ”Preach always but only use words when necessary.”  This site is filled with only the words that seem necessary to me right now, in society, in our global context, and in a Christianity that I want to look more like what I believe it can be than that which made me cringe for so many years.

  • I believe in the healing qualities of God and the message and works of Jesus in his lifetime and beyond.  I believe in the spirit of God and the presence of spirit I feel so strongly when I leave space in silence to hear God’s whisper in my mind, body, heart and soul.
  • I believe in the beauty and the spiritual sincerity of faith seekers, contemplatives and mystics (locally and globally, presently and historically), and believe in the importance of dialoging with those who see the world, faith, and ritual differently that I do.  I believe I can learn much and strengthen my own faith through exploring the experiences of others and their journeys.
  • I was raised Catholic and am a practicing Episcopalian.  I am a box-checking (self-indentified) Christian, but believe in the value of multiple permutations of faith and belief across all spiritual lineages.
  • I have explored a variety of faiths and faith practices in my lifetime and believe in the importance of people finding belief in something and that what resonates for one person’s heart and soul may not look identical to what resonates with me based on culture, faith of origin, race, gender, and a life time of experiences.
  • I believe in the potency of living and breathing the essence of one’s own faith & what a powerful ripple and impact that can have on the world.  I am at points both hopeful and jaded about the future of religion and faith.  Ultimately, though, I believe in the ability of the human heart to grow and open exponentially & hope that we can live globally and locally from an ever-increasing place of heart rather than brain.
  • I am a recovering brain-liver and, since we teach and do what we need to learn the most I am a mystic practitioner. I believe in the value of silence as the universal equalizer–that in the quiet path of contemplation we can find ourselves in a parallel process with anyone else engaged in that silence.  Without words, semantics, dogma to get in the way there is potential for something larger than “us the self” and broader than “us the tribe”.

I am an existential explorer of sorts, searching for a better way than what is –inside and outside of myself.  I am a Christian who wants to undo the cringe-worthy lineage that seems to be pervasive in those with whom I speak within my faith tradition and outside of it.

I want to get back to the roots of my tradition since the roots, or the radical (as they are synonymous), are essential & often when we strip away the non-essential we begin to see how much more communal the dialogues can be between different sects of the same faith tradition, or different faith traditions.  This is why I am someone who values the mystic path because it inherently strips us of the “self” insinuated into our life experience,  and in the silence between the “us” inserted into the self-serving plot of our lives, we can find the space for God.

Please, come, join the exploration with me.

You can email with comments, questions, or just conversation.  If you have a suggestion for a “Life Parable” please send an email with that as your heading.  If you have added resources, links, or great people you think I should know about, talk about, and read about please let me know!